Cue Ridiculous Post

Sometimes in life things dont go as you planned. In fact most of the time. Life is crazy. Things change. People change. You never know whats next. And dealing with those changes can be a challenge.

Lately Ive been having a hard time due to feeling isolated. Do I have friends? Yes, of course. But it almost feels like ever since Jer and I got serious, people stopped wanting to be our friends. Did we change? I dont think so. Maybe we did, and we dont know. But its a very strange feeling to say, I have friends but no one seems to want to actually be invested. (PS I KNOW there are people who are invested...this is not me discrediting that at all...its simply an emotional crazy day in my soul). Jer and I love each other, and yes we like to spend time alone together. But we'd also like to have some community. I dont know. Its hard to explain.

You know, in life I have always had lots of friends and a few bests. Im still that way. Sometimes the bests changed, in fact they usually do change. I think whats hard is watching yourself be replaced with a new best in someone elses life. Its not always meant to be that way, but as I said before...Life happens and things change. We must learn to evolve as relationships evolve around us. But what if we're unable to? What if everyone else moves on, and you dont ever seem to be able to move on to the next? Maybe you're just too socially awkward to reach out. Maybe you're actually someone people dont want to be involved with.

Not having many coupled friends is what this is all getting at I guess. We need more couple friends. Not that we dont love our current friends, and our current couple friends....I just feel like someone who's carrying all their eggs in one basket and one by one they're falling out...if that makes sense? I know you have to give to get. You cant expect everyone else to do things you wont do yourself. Its just hard. Hard to watch yourself be replaced by others in life...sometimes you see the process...and other times you wake up and see something on facebok and realize "wow...that used to be me". Life is crazy.

This post is dumb. Im sorry. Im just sad today. Blame it on PMS. Im going to.