If I Loved You....Oh, I do.

I must say that I feel extremely loved and extremely lucky in life.

In the past month I have encountered situations that have let love shine boldly and bravely and they have truly touched me. My grandmother, Geneva Cearley, passed away on June 30th. We all knew it would be soon, so I had planned to go to rehearsal on the 30th, and then go to Enid around noon on July 1st. This was my plan. However, I walked into rehearsal where Cyndi and Shawna met me with what Id probably call tough love. They insisted that I leave and go to Enid immediately so that I wouldn't miss saying my goodbyes. It wasn't an order. It wasn't a command or them trying to make me feel something I wasn't. It was two women that I love, loving me enough to make me do what I needed to do. I will never be able to thank them enough for that. Without their love, I would have missed getting to share mine with my grandma in her last hours. I can tell you that if it had ended up that way, I would have been devastated.

Through all the deaths in my life, I don't ever remember saying goodbye. Ive always had reasons (whether mine or my parents) to not go. I don't regret them. But this time was different. She was different. My family was different. This was the last parent of my moms...the last grandparent I had left. I needed to be there. I needed to be with her and I needed to be with my family. Deaths are a crazy thing. They are bittersweet. But they really bring people together. The love of my family that day and the days to follow made me so appreciative of them. I know that no matter what happens, family is always there. No family is perfect, but when they need to come together and be FAMILY, they do. Its loving unconditionally. Its beautiful.

On another note, my rehearsals for Rodgers and Hammerstein's "Carousel" began. It had been over a year since I had been involved in theatre. I took a hiatus to enjoy dating Jeremiah...which is a good thing as it turned into a proposal! :) It was the best decision Ive ever made. However, getting back into the grind was not so easy. I was lucky enough that Laura handled everything for me until music rehearsals started (among MANY other things she has done for me and this show since then). It was a gift that I cant repay. I had many struggles...mainly, calendar issues...and my cast and staff stuck with me. They never got angry with me or threw diva fits over it. I must tell you, the mistakes weren't small all the time. Yet, they took it with a grain of salt and adjusted! I am so lucky to have a cast that understands that I know what I'm doing I'm just rusty and have a billion things going at once. Seriously...55+ people that all treated me with kindness despite my ignorant mistakes which caused their inbox to be bombarded daily. I am blessed.

Not only does my cast love me, but my fiance has to be the best man in the world. After all, what man is going to willingly give up (more or less) his fiance for 2 months almost every night in the midst of wedding planning in the 3 months before their wedding? Jeremiah Parris did. I am blown away by his understanding through out this process. Not only his understanding but his support. He has done everything from my laundry to bringing me dinner when Ive been too rushed to remember my own. He even came up after a few rehearsals and helped us with the set. It make the show that much more special to me to look at the set and know that he helped. That may seem silly, but it just makes me love the show (and him) that much more! Once upon a time I had said "I will never be involved with someone who makes me choose theatre or them." He doesn't make me choose. He just chooses me %100. Its incredible. I'm a lucky woman. I am so happy that my schedule has finally opened up a little to allow me some time to see him! And in 57 days, I will be a lucky wife!

Wife. I still get excited and eager over the word....these next 57 days need to fly by. However, I'm learning that I still have a "few" things that need to be done! So August is going to be crunch month. I'm going to need help I think to make sure it all gets done. I'm sure I'll be asking Jana a ton of questions! Our families have been SO amazing throughout the wedding process. We've been blown away by the financial support that we received (including those who continually saved cans for us!) We have just been beyond blessed by everyones generosity and helping hand. You're all allowing us to have a beautiful wedding, and not go broke.

And last but not least, I know that I am sincerely cared for at the theatre because they moved a big audition so that they could attend our wedding. Really? Wow. I honestly have no words to show my level of gratitude and appreciation for that.

Life is shaping up just fine. We are moved into our new apartment (big thanks to my future in-laws)...well technically I am moved in...Jer will join me in 57 days! Tech week is over (hallelujah and amen) and we open tonight! Buy your tickets at www.poteettheatre.com. My new job is wonderful. Life is good. Love is all around.

Now if I could just squeeze in a seester date....all would be right with the world.

Wedding Nightmares are the worst.

Last night was the most awful dream, really more of a nightmare. It was about,  you guessed it, the wedding. Everything was going wrong. My makeup artist lady was late, and when she got there was unfocused. We hadnt done a run though and she didnt know what she wanted to do. Lacy was no where to be found. We were getting married in this wedding chapel country club place that had different weddings going on in all the different rooms. People kept coming back to talk to me or my mom and seeing me in the dress completely unready. My cousins Jake and Nate were not there and they were supposed to be. There wasnt even 50 people attending. Needless to say, I was hysterical the entire time. The ENTIRE time. So much so that when I woke up this morning, I felt more tired than before I went to bed. How is that even possible?

So all of these things need not to happen. Kapeesh?